Pixie on the State of Things...

It has been waaaay too long since I have been able to post on this blog. Frankly, I am less than amused with my typing slave, MeLissa. She seems to have plenty of time to tell you all about this "baby" thing and has even, horror of horrors taken time to write about a D-O-G possibly joining our household. Has she even taken a minute to post my thoughts about anything...anything at all...over the past few months, though? Let me answer that for you - NO! Not one post for months. It's a travesty. I apologize profusely my dear fans...

How I persuaded her to post today for me is truly a mystery, but I'll take it because I have a few things to say about these two things (the baby and the D-O-G) that may invade my territory. First, on the baby or "the sprout" as I've heard him called...I'm not sure what this is exactly, but I'm not liking how things are going around here because of his impending arrival. I have noticed that shortly after this became a topic for discussion in the house, MeLissa's belly started growing. It is now quite round and it scares me...especially since one time when I was on it, I was kicked. I did not like that at all and now refuse to sit on MeLissa's lap. That will teach her to sniper me.

Besides this, though, I am displeased because there has been a flurry of cleaning around here lately and the vaccuum has been making way too many appearances. There is no good place to hide from this destructive monster that I can see so I end up running from room to room...I have been punishing them by hacking up hair balls and spitting up my food periodically in places I know they'll find with their bare little toes...preferrably first thing in the morning. I like it best when Mark finds the presents...his reaction is always so much more entertaining.

I am also displeased with the fact that they are being stingy. They have brought a ton of interesting and colorful things into the house recently which just scream to be batted, laid upon and scratched. They will not let me play with them. They lock them away in their bedroom and the guest room. To add insult to injury, their practice of ensuring the bedroom door is locked has kept me from pursuing my sock fetish. I am not happy about this at all. Stingy humans. Apparently, something big is happening on Friday and Saturday of this week involving this baby thing. I hope they change their mind and send it back so I can finally get at those toys.

As for the D-O-G, this better be an empty threat. I will not tolerate it. Someone please explain to me why it is they need another pet? Did they not learn from when Banshee was here that other creatures are nothing but trouble? It was bad enough that there was another cat before, but a dog? You must be kidding. They keep talking about it being to help Mark get around better. Ha! He seems to do just fine to me. He may not know it, but I am wise to his constant mission of stepping on me every chance he gets. I'm still trying to fight back by making him stumble and fall...still to no avail, but I make up for it with fur. It's a rare day that he doesn't need a quick defuzzing and isn't griping about my hair being everywhere...and yet he wants another hairy beast that probably slobbers to come live with us. Stupid humans...they never learn.

Well, I suppose that is enough for now since it appears that MeLissa may go face down on her desk if I don't let her go take a nap. I approve of this activity and will probably take one of my own...just not anywhere near that stomach of hers! I hope to have another opportunity to speak with you again soon...