More About Our Cow

Since Annie asked, I'm happy to give a few more details about our cow acquisition for all those who are interested in knowing the info. :)

Our cow, who's name is very Shakespearean (still not going to tell you, but that narrows it down, perhaps), was grass fed until the last month of its life. At this point, they start feeding it on grain to get some of the grassy taste out and to help create some marbeling. It really is some of the tastiest beef I've ever had. And, one excellent thing about it when I was pregnant was that since I knew where it came from and what it had eaten and such (i.e., no antibiotics or what have you), I could still have a nice medium steak if I wanted. Of course, I didn't really like my beef undercooked (nature is one heck of a smart lady) so I rarely did, but if I had wanted.

Cost-wise, it really is quite a steal. You pay a per pound amount -- ours was $3.25 per gross pound (i.e., before butchering) and then you go over with the butcher what cuts you want. This year, in contrast to last year, we went for a lot of steak and also increased the amount of hamburger we got in lieu of many roasts. Whether you eat a pound of hamburger, a pound of filet mignon (my personal favorite) or a pound of NY strip (which is what we enjoyed tonight for dinner), you've paid $3.25 for it. I can truthfully say that filets and NYs would never be on the menu at our house if we didn't do this cow thing! :) The only drawback to this method is you do have to pay upfront (our total cost was about $1100), but if you can save your pennies, the decrease in your weekly grocery bill makes up for some of it. For us, our dining bill also decreased because we kept finding that we were never as happy with restaurant beef after...

Beef. It's Still What's for Dinner...

Believe it or not, the 1/2 cow that we bought last year is gone except for 2 packages of stew meat and a london broil. Our freezer was looking mighty sparse for a while there, but no more! Today we picked up this year's cow just outside of Sacramento. This time around we went for more steaks and fewer roasts. We like roast, but it takes some planning and frequently results in way too many leftovers.

We did get a lot of hamburger again this year and I am thrilled. After having to eat hamburger from the store again (and it was even fancy schmancy Whole Foods hamburger), I am very happy to have a stockpile again. I grew so accustomed to hamburger with minimal fat content (so little that any attempt to drain it after cooking is futile) that when I ate the stuff from the store, I found it quite "icky." So yea for good hamburger again.

At any rate, I have to say I am slightly disturbed by the 1/2 cow this time around. Only slightly, but nevertheless disturbed. Why? Because I know what its name was. I hope that everytime I tear into a burger or steak I am able to forget. I will spare you in case you happen to come over for dinner sometime the name...if you really want to know, you can always ask, but don't say I didn't warn you about the possible disturbance in your brain.

To celebrate our now well-stocked freezer, we'll be having some very tasty burgers for dinner - anyone want an invite? ;)

Uh Oh...

Well, I guess that bug I caught was a good one. It looks like Mark may have it now. I took today off from work, too, since I still just wasn't quite back to normal. I've finally been able to at least get some food in and staying in the system. Assuming Mark isn't sick, I will probably be find to go back to work tomorrow though I have no idea what I'm going to take to eat because as of yet I really can't handle much food at all.

I just feel really awful though that my Mark is now probably coming down with the bug....especially since it usually takes a pretty decent bug to bring him down.

I wonder where on earth we picked this little gem up...I sure hope it goes away completely by the time my birthday rolls around.

Take your vities people, the bugs are upon us!

Sickie Quickie

Today has been a pretty wretched day. I actually stayed home from work because I can't keep anything down. I must have caught a bug some where, I guess. It's been so long since I had a virus of this sort and this is definitely making up for the lapse of time.

The silver lining - my wonderful husband stayed home to take care of me. Another - it looks like maybe, just maybe, the light at the end of the tunnel can be seen...I hope so, I am so thirsty and a drop of water here and a drop of water there just isn't cutting it. :(

Hopefully things will be bright and pleasant tomorrow.

MeLissa vs. the Skeeter!

I've frequently said that excitement is very much over-rated. For those who've not yet heard my reasoning, take for example a car accident. It can be very exciting....and yet it's just not so good. Same thing about a swarm of bees chasing you - exciting indeed, but not good. Now, of course, there are plenty of things that are exciting and good, but well, just go with me on this!

So, when I tell you there was a wee bit of excitement in our household early this morning, please understand that we're speaking along the same lines. Also know, though, that we won't have similar excitement this next sleep cycle unless a) my nemesis is reincarnated or b) another takes his/her place.

Have you ever been sound asleep and were awakened to the sound of buzzing? You know that buzzing that a mosquito makes? Yeah, that. Well, last night I was peacefully slumbering (despite my seriously cranky attitude thanks to all the election stuff which we're just not going to talk about) on the couch and I awoke to said sound. I batted myself hoping that I'd killed whatever it was that had gotten a little too close for comfort. In a way the buzzer helped me out - it encouraged me to head into the bed room for a proper night's sleep. This all happened around 9:30 last night.

Around 4:00 this morning, I was sleeping peacefully in our bed and the evil buzzing came to shake me from slumber again. I batted and thrashed (waking Mark of course) and tried to kill the evil thing, but it was to no avail. In no time at all, the probable blood sucker (for I still had not seen it) came back for another fly-by and then proceded to torment poor Mark as well. After several batting attempts, we finally decided we'd go camping (i.e., we pulled the covers over our heads)...not that it mattered. The stupid little bugger continued on its quest for sustenance.

I finally was fed up with the whole ritual and got up to go to the bathroom (for like the 5th time last night...ay carumba) and drink some more water (because we wouldn't want to miss out on trip 6) and eat some food because I was, frankly, starving myself. Maybe the blood sucker was pregnant? Anyhow, I finally came back to bed and discovered that in my absence, Mark had arose and turned on lights in the hallway and the guest room to try to trick the skeeter out of our room. We didn't have a stupid skeeter...it didn't fall for it. We continued to be buzzed right up until the time that the alarm went off.

To say that I was miffed would be an understatement. For the past two nights before, I had not gotten a goodnight's sleep (the millions of trips to the bathroom are surprisingly not the problem - it's the hunger to some extent, but primarily just weird dreams...like about shaving or about telling friends whom I'm not very close to anymore that I'm kind of glad they're gone because they weren't terribly healthy for me anyhow...yeah, weird stuff like that). So, I was already sleep deprived and this little jerk was compounding my problem. I had told said jerk that it was in BIG trouble when I got up in the morning (now that I'm a bit more coherent it occurs to me that I should have just turned on the lights and found him when he was bugging us, but whatever).

Anyhow, to get to the point, I was on my way into the shower this morning when I noticed a speck on the wall over by my side of the bed. It turned out to be one VERY LARGE mosquito. I mean seriously...it was HUGE!! Now, before I continue on I would just like to say that this is one of those things that really bugs me about California. Are there mosquitos in Colorado right now? Um, no....not even remotely likely, but here we are in the beginning of November (November!!) and there is a big mamoth mosquito tormenting us - does this seem just a wee bit messed up to anyone else or is it just me?

At any rate, I popped that little bugger a good one and was pretty grossed out by the result - seriously. I had blood on my hand and all over the wall. It was uber disgusting! But, I vanquished the little tormenting jerk and hopefully tonight I'll manage to get a good night's sleep...woe be to any other creature that intrudes upon my slumber! :)

Hope everyone else is doing well!

Let's Say Thanks

Just found out about this a bit ago. Go to www.letssaythanks.com and send a card to one of those brave individuals who are out there keeping us safe so we can enjoy silly radio contests, bridal shows and anniversarys (which, by the way, did we mention ours is in a few days - the ticker is almost done ticking at the bottom of the page!). :)

Haunted by a Dowl

A quote from Mark this morning: "Sometimes if you listen quietly, you can hear the sounds - the sounds of the dowl."

Yes, we dear friends and family, have a dowl at our house. Not familiar with the dowl are you? Pull up a chair and acquaint yourself....

The dowl is half dove and half owl. It came into existence many moons ago, but was only recently discovered by us. We originally thought we had an owl at our house. It said "hoo hoo" every morning and frequently in the evening also. We thought it was cool, but we never saw him. Then one day, while at work, MeLissa heard the familiar call, looked up and saw a dove in a tree...no owls in sight. She relayed this to Mark who wouldn't hear of it. He insisted we have an owl. Not really much fun to squabble about a bird (though in the days of Robin, we have done so) and so we just let it be...until one day, MeLissa heard the faint call of the "owl" outside the house, looked up and saw a dove...just like the one she saw at work. Mark still wouldn't hear of it and so we compromised as any happily married couple would and began referring to our little friend as the dowl. Perhaps if you visit us, you too will have the calming experience (or the frustration if our friend decides to coo or hoo at a much too early hour!).

In other news, today is MeLissa's last day at work and Mark's last day of finals! He's retaking his clinic entrance. They snipered him with a bunch of radiology questions he wasn't expecting and didn't study for. No worries, we're sure he'll ace it this time around! In preparation for his test, we did a bit of studying this morning and, in the process, made Pixie a little confused and a bit silly. MeLissa's watch happened to catch the sun and create a reflection on the ceiling that caught the eye of the dear Pixie cat. She was quite frustrated that she couldn't reach it. Throughout our short study session, as the light moved in response to MeLissa turning a page or whatever, Pixie chased and cavorted as best as she could. We think we need to find her laser light pen again...

This evening, rather than celebrating like we probably should (we will eventually, but there's bills to pay and less income to pay them with right at the moment!), we're going to visit the pet store. Pixie needs a new litter box (this is exciting isn't it - not everything can be as intriguing as the dowl, you know!) to prevent her from pottying outside of it. For some reason, she is having an issue understanding that she needs to get her little booty fully into the box, lately. We're very glad we have a plastic mat up next to her box to prevent her from ruining the carpet. At least she actually tries to use the box...

We hope you all have a great weekend if we don't make it back to post again. We're heading to Colorado this coming Tuesday so it will probably be a bit calm around here for a while... :)

Monday Amusements

For those (read Christopher and Douglas!) who were completely and totally addicted to Nintendo in their younger years, this will bring back wonderful (or painful perhaps) memories. Enjoy (and then come back and tell us what you've heard!)

The Exciting Weekend Adventures of.....

MeLissa the Builder (who is posting in first person because it just makes the story so much more amusing!). Sing along with me now, will you?

MeLissa the Builder!
Can we fix it?!
MeLissa the Builder!
Yes we can! (maybe).

Erhem, okay...it's out of my system for a little bit. I guess that's all you can hope for given how Tyler, my nephew, has trained me. :) But, I wonder, should I be calling myself MeLissa the Toolwoman? I'll let you be the judge...

This was my big exciting weekend accomplishment (or it would have been). Now it is probably going to be my exciting Monday accomplishment...maybe (unless I have to go get teflon tape which I am sure we actually have, but which I can not find for the life of me). You're all confused now...I know it's true. You have no idea what I'm talking about. That's because I think we forgot to tell you about my exciting teeth brushing story from sometime last week. I can't even remember what day it was. I was a little pre-occupied with how things were going to go when I resigned....

Anyhow, one day last week, I went to brush my teeth as I do every morning before I go to work. I picked up my toothbrush, went to wet it under the faucet and voila, the handle came off in my hand. Um, yeah....not a good thing. It appears that our bathroom is determined to make a plumber out of me yet. I resisted with the toilet, but the faucet is similar to the kitchen faucet I changed (with the help of 'the French guy' whom I was dating at the time) a few years ago. So, I figured this was going to be fairly easy...after all, I'm in California now and do not have to worry about a massive build up of calcium to make the faucet a real "witch" to get off, right? Wrong. It was still murder...and it's a good thing that Mark can feel his way around or I'd probably still be laying under the sink doing my best impersonation of Yosemite Sam (reckin' shrekin' no good....you get the idea).

Lucky me, though, my wonderful prince charming husband rescued me and got the lines loose because he's brilliant and decided to go for the nuts that connect into the water supply rather than the ones that connected to the faucet and were cemented on with plumber's putty (which I only know the name of because it was mentioned in the faucet assembly instructions and I'm putting two and two together). Anyhoo....

We got it out of there and then the real fun began because he unscrewed the top of the drain popper thingie (a technical plumbing term, I assure you) and, of course, it went down into the sink drain. Darn it all. So, I forgot about it for a bit, got the sink in place with some additional help from my dear hubby and then decided (because I'm stubborn and because two trips to Home Despot - so named because it is a tyranical ruler guilty of torturing countless wives and girlfirends throughout the country and maybe the world - in one weekend is just torture even if you do find an absolutely wonderful Plumeria plant to add to your wonderful deck arrangement!) to at least try to get the connecting lines apart from the old faucet. I gave up pretty quickly and tabled the sink repair until Sunday. Oh, but we did get the stupid piece out of the drain and I tried to hook up the thing that puts the stopper up and down (this is going to be a long post - perhaps longer than normal I just realized).

So, Sunday, we went back to Home Despot, visited the friendly and yet sort of creepy guy in the plumbing department that lauds me with compliments on my beauty and talks about how great he is (with my husband standing right there - hello!?! Poor vision or no, buddy, you cross the line and he'll kick your keester...) which, of course, prompts my dear Mark to joke for the rest of the weekend about how many goats I am worth as a persian princess and how many pickled goat's feet our kitty Pixie is not worth. He's quite a loon, but I love him (my husband, not the creepy Home Depot guy). Oh, and yeah, to finish my thought, we bought the lines necessary to hook everything up.

After a trip to the grocery store, I set myself back to fixin' things. It seems easy enough. Screw these two little thingies together and turn on the water and voila. But, no...it isn't that easy. It never is with me. First, I screwed everything on and then I turned on the water....and got wet. Oops. Oh, yeah, you think I should tighten those with a pair of pliers, eh? Yeah, well, that probably would be good, but I was kind of hoping that I could hand tighten them so we could actually get them off again if necessary. Never mind...tighten, tighten, tighten. Turn on. More leaks. Darn it. Tighten U-Joint which I also forgot to tighten with the pipe wrench. Goodness, I'm an idiot sometimes. Turn on the water again. Still a bit of dripping in the back - dry it with towel and see if it stops. Yes. Amazing. I think we have it folks! And, then....

The sound of clanging metal. Never a good sound...and in this case signifying that the blasted stopper puller upper and pusher downer (I think it's called a pop-up sink valve) had "fallen" apart. So, to be wise, I turned off the water, took that apart, did more tightening with the pliers and put everything back together...

Now as an aside, I actually wanted to also replace the pop-up valve part of the sink. The faucet assembly came with a replacement and it excited me because the prior owner of our house whom I frequently refer to as the "bird murderer" because he left a glue board under the stove without telling us and my parakeet, Woodstock, managed to escape from his cage, find it and die trying to get off of it (God rest his little soul), but I digress. The bird murder also replaced the original pop-up stopper thingie (again, a technical term that I use a lot when it comes to home repairs) with one that should have went in a tub. But, I didn't replace it because to do so would have required plumber's putty and much more plumbing knowledge than I ever care to possess. And, yes, I hear you - why not just replace the stopper part. I thought of that, too...unfortunately, it is too big. Kind of amusing if you think about it - a stopper for a tub fits, but one for a sink is too big. Aye Carumba.

Okay, so anyhow, I put everything back under the sink and went about my merry way. I made dinner (a terrifically tasty cold pasta salad with chicken) and cookies which taste terrific but definitely should be refrigerated as long as Martha tells you to...and no substituting time in the freezer isn't good enough, but I wanted cookies and I wanted them last night...not sometime this week. I will make a second attempt with the remaining dough this evening. Then I helped Mark study, almost finished the laundry (I can't wait until I can do this in between my daily work stuff) and then it was time for bed and teeth brushing. Now if you were paying attention here, you're saying, but....but...

If you're like me and weren't paying attention, you won't think anything of the fact that I grabbed my brush and excitedly went to turn on the water...until I say that nothing came out of the faucet...absolutely nothing. Oh, drat, I forgot to turn the water back on. This is either going to be no big deal or a real mess I thought to myself so I reached under the sink where all my stuff had been nicely stored again and slowly turned on the water only to immediately turn it right back off because something was leaking. Darn it all. I think maybe there's a little water that built up in the pipe. So, tonight I have to take everything out from under the sink and turn the water back on, hope that I don't have to go through a whole hullabaloo to get the leaking to stop yet again and then put all the crap back (or go to someplace and buy teflon tape since ours is lost). Then, I will finally get to brush my teeth using my sink again....

But, this is not the end of the story, my dear friends and family...nope. I get to do this a second time this coming weekend because since I hated the faucets anyhow, it seemed like a good and rational thing to replace them both. After all, they need to match right?...despite the bizarre layout of our home. Our bathroom has one sink in it. Then on the other side of the wall in the entry to our Master Bedroom, there is another sink. Who came up with this design? They're weird...that's all I'm saying, but it does prove useful regularly. Regardless, the pair must match so I get to do this all over again. I sure hope I learned a few things the first time around and that it won't be as much of a fiasco...but at least it provides good blogging fodder. ;)

Other exciting news - I think I have my first client! :) Our dear friend Penny is going to let me help plan husband Brent's birthday party. How exciting! More details on that to come, I'm sure. But for now, I'm going back into third person land so that our little blog reads more like a story. :) We hope you enjoyed the break!

And how was your weekend?

Dance Dance Evolution

This is a pretty funny clip that MeLissa found on a friend's blog. It's long, and if you're not one to listen to recent music you may be lost toward the end, but it's cute. We hope you enjoy it!

Update: We moved this little gem to its own page because we figured some of you were going to boycott us if you had to listen to it one more time (never could find a way to not have it start playing immediately upon landing on the page). Click the link below and enjoy!

Dance with Me!

This just in:

Avian Flu has hit a trailer park in Florida!



Garden gnomes in the area are now living in fear. ;)

Let's Send a Clear Message

We understand that some people who read our blog may not agree with us politically, but hear us out. If you still don't agree, do nothing, but if you do...then make today National Shopping Day.

That's right friends, we want you all to go out and buy something....anything. Whether it is groceries, that fabulous new pair of spring sling-backs you've been drooling over or an origami book, buy it today. Here's why:

1. The stores should be less crowded making checkout faster.

2. Why put off shopping until tomorrow when you can do it today?

And most important of all...

3. It will send a clear message that our U.S. economy can not be hijacked by a group of people who do not appreciate our values, do not appreciate that it is a priviledge to live and work here...not a right, and who choose not to become Americans through the legal immigration process but wish to enjoy all the benefits without any of the costs.

Let them know that we're not going to sit back idly and let another country's citizens tell us how we should run our country. Whether that country is in the Middle East or South of the Border doesn't really matter to us.

We do want to say, though, that we truly appreciate the contributions that those who come here legally and with good intentions make to our society. They should not be penalized for they have done nothing wrong. They have done what is necessary to become a part of our society and to become Americans - to learn our language, embrace our culture and values, pay taxes and contribute to all that is good about the United States. Embrace them...tell them they are welcome here and that we appreciate the sacrifices they have made, as we all have, for the good of our country and the world.

Please do a bit of shopping today. It would be preferrable if you could make your purchase at a business that is not well-known for hiring illegal immigrants - we need to send a message to these businesses that we don't appreciate their attempts to undermine our laws and to encourage illegal activity. MeLissa will be making a short trip to Borders at lunch to stock up on origami and wedding style books.

We hope you and your friends and family will join us in celebrating National Shopping Day!

Come Fly With Me!

So, we have some pretty exciting news in our little corner of the world! MeLissa has been offered an exciting opportunity to audition with the USS Hornet Big Band as its lead female vocalist. Now wouldn't that be something if she had a successful audition?!

This opportunity flowed out of a recent contact MeLissa made with Mr. Elias Pereda, a talented vocal artist, whom she and Mark met at one of Mark's eye appointments. Mr. Pereda also performs in this band and put in a good word for MeLissa with the conductor. She's really excited about this new opportunity as well as the opportunity to work with Mr. Pereda in the future as she plans her clients' weddings and events.

We promise to keep you updated so that you can come see her perform if everything works out!

Want A Free Website?

We thought some of you might like this little tip! If you sign up now at www.officelive.com, you can put up a business or personal website with a "normal" domain name for free. MeLissa took advantage of this offer yesterday and so we'll soon have another site where we're thinking we'll post additional pictures from our adventures and maybe tell a few silly stories or something. We're still thinking about it.

At any rate, we thought we'd pass along the tip and should you want to take a quick peak at our "vacation home" on the web, www.mark-n-melissa.com is the direct entryway to Roccoland. Come one, come all...but don't expect much - yet! :)

Happy Easter!

We hope everyone is having a wonderful Easter! We ran across a site where you can see baby Bald Eagles hatch and then be cared for by their parents. Pretty neat stuff - right up there with the PG&E Falcon camera. Click the link above for a peek!

Bloglines - An Awesome Tool!!!

MeLissa found an awesome tool for those who want to keep up with what we're up to today! Rather than having to check periodically to see if we've posted something, wouldn't it be nice to just be notified that we have? Look now further...

MeLissa has discovered a service called Bloglines. This site is AWESOME. Now, instead of having to click on her favorite blogs several times every day to see if somene has posted some wonderful words of wisdom or hilarity, she simply goes into her bloglines account and it shows her who has posted since she last checked. She can even set up a notification service on her desktop!

Then, she can read all of the posts from her favorite blogs right there in bloglines! It seems that she'll still have to visit their sites when she wishes to comment on something, but at least this will cut down on some of her mindless surfing at work to just see if there's new "stuff" to be read! It's easy to set up an account and add your favorite blogs - MeLissa especially likes the fact that she can visit a blog and add it to her subscription list with a link in her favorites.

We hope you'll all sign up and add our site so you can keep up to date on our posts!

Our Weekend....

We had a pretty nice weekend! Mark has bounced back pretty quickly from this last surgery (not having to be face-down all the time probably helps!) and so we were able to do a little more than hang around the house (though, we did plenty of that as well!).

Here's a quick run down of our weekend activities:

1. We went to Ikea. We try to avoid Ikea as much as possible because it is just a bit too crazy for our liking, but we need something to organize and store all of MeLissa's craft, quilting and entertaining supplies and Ikea has a lot of affordable options so off we went. By the end of our shopping expedition, we had found what we were looking for, but MeLissa was feeling kind of "out of it" (one of the many reasons we tend to avoid Ikea!) and Mark isn't supposed to be lifting anything heavy so we'll have to return at some other time to pick it up.

2. We watched a lot of X-files episodes. We enjoyed just sitting together and being couch potatoes on a few occasions this weekend. We're about finished with season 3 and then we'll move on to season 4. We haven't been watching these things in order so we'll have watched all the episodes by the time we finish seaon 4. Crazy wacky stuff.

Aside from these things, MeLissa worked on our taxes (which are pretty much done and just need to be filed.) and finished up her Event Planning course. She passed her final exam with flying colors! Now it is on to a real world training experience where she will help someone plan their very special event on a pro bono basis. Once she's completed this task, she'll be one step closer to opening her own wedding coordination business in July 2006 (Yes, we have a tentative date!). With any luck, MeLissa will have time this week to go pick up her business license...

If you know any good graphic designers who can help her with her logo and website design, please let us know! :)

Wait and See...

Well, Mark finished his tests around 4 p.m. yesterday afternoon. He's not feeling real confident that he even passed 4 (which would mean, if he didn't pass all the sections, he'd only have to retake those he didn't pass). MeLissa reminded him this morning that not everybody can tell when they've passed a test and with that wretched scoring system that we keep referring to, anything is possible so we're keeping our fingers and toes crossed. We should receive the testing results in a couple of months and we'll of course let you know what the final verdict is!

Mark now is fully focused on passing his final exams. Due to surgery, he's taking incompletes on two of them. He has two tests today, one tomorrow and then it's time for surgery.

MeLissa spent her weekend attending a little baby shower for a friend and doing other things around the house including making a rather interesting ice cream flavor. Ever have raspberry with a hint of chocolate? It makes a great ice cream flavor. :)

Finally, we thought we'd pass a little tip on to anyone who is interested. We've heard a couple of people mention that they'd like to learn a little more about HTML. Now, MeLissa is by *no* means, an HTML guru at this point, but she's definitely learned enough to be dangerous. Some of what she learned was through trial an error, but she's recently found a really great resource. If you, too, want a little more HTML experience, have a look at W3 Schools. They have really helpful tutorials in HTML (including an awesome color list!) and other "stuff" like SQL which MeLissa is trying to figure out for her job (and let us say she totally is not happy about that one!). Happy learning...

Crazy Scientific Facts About Love

Here's an interesting article detailing various scientific findings about love we thought you'd find amusing - we've linked it above as well.

Love: 10 crazy scientific facts
By Laura Schaefer

1. It’s like looking in a mirror! It turns out we all have a little something in common with Narcissus—the mythical fellow who fell in love with his own reflection. Scientists at the University of Liverpool recently concluded that our brains favor people with familiar faces. The research team asked over 200 participants to view a number of digitally altered human faces. They found that subjects preferred the features they found the most familiar—whether that means his or her own visage or that of a family member. This may explain that common phenomenon of couples looking like they could be siblings.

2. Manner, schmanners: Go ahead and stare. Another new study says that when a woman walks into a room, she is considered more attractive if she turns her eyes directly toward a certain man. Men would rate the same woman as less desirable if she doesn’t make strong eye contact. In this study, conducted at Dartmouth University, lead researcher Malia Mason had male participants sit and view a series of faces of fashion models, digitally enhanced to either be gazing toward or away from the participant. The study authors asked the viewer to rate the likeability of each model and found that those who turned away were seen as less agreeable. The study’s researchers went on to suggest that a woman’s gaze can be a powerful arousal cue and that our impressions are largely formed by nonverbal communications such as eye contact. So start locking eyes, ladies!

3. You’ll know it when you see it. A recent study at the University of Pennsylvania reveals that regardless of what people say they are looking for in a dating situation, they don’t need a lot of time with or information about a person to tell if they’re interested. Single people’s behavior suggests that individuals know “it” (a person who appeals to them) when they see it—almost instantly. Lead researcher Robert Kurzban and his colleagues studied data from 10,000+ daters. They found that men and women assessed potential compatibility within moments of meeting, using primarily visual cues such as age, height, and attractiveness. Says Kurzban, “Somewhat surprisingly, factors that you might think would be really important to people — like religion, education, and income — played very little roles in their choices.”

4. Listen up. The next time you call up a potential love match, pay special attention to how they sound. Researchers at the University of Albany had 149 men and women rate the attractiveness of a series of recorded voices on a scale from 1 to 10. The researchers also gathered information about the sexual histories of the people whose voices they recorded. They found that the voices found to be the most appealing belonged to people who had sex at an earlier age, had more sexual partners, and were more prone to infidelity than those rated as having less appealing voices. So know that what’s a seductive voice to you may be linked to a person with a bit of a past…

5. I couldn’t help it baby, it’s in my genes. There may be a genetic component to infidelity, says a professor at the Twin Research Unit at St. Thomas’ Hospital, London. This is based on the fact that if one twin exhibits infidelity, the other twin strays 55% of the time. In the general population, the number is 23%. The tendency to remain faithful is a component of personality, the scientist elaborates, which is governed both by a number of genes and societal factors.

6. It’s official. Love makes us crazy. For one, it causes serotonin levels in the brain to drop, which may lead people to obsess about their lover. (The levels of serotonin, a chemical produced by the body, are also low in people who have obsessive-compulsive disorder.) Next, it ramps up production of the stress hormone cortisol, leading to slightly higher blood pressure and possible loss of sleep. Finally, a scientist at the University of London has found that when people look at their new loves, the neural circuits that are usually in charge of social judgment are suppressed. All in all, love kind of leaves you obsessive, stressed, and blind. And we love it.

7. Why broken hearts hurt... A recent UCLA study suggests the psychological hurt of a break-up is just as real as a physical injury. Two areas of the brain that respond to physical pain also become activated when a person is dealing with social pain, such as being dumped. The study’s authors used an MRI to monitor brain activity in participants while they played a game simulating social rejection. The researchers believe that the pain of being rejected may have evolved as a motivating force that led humans to seek out social interaction, which is crucial for the survival of most mammals.

8. Blushing is best. If we take our cue from apes, rosy cheeks are crucial in the dating game, says a new study. Scientists at Stirling University in Great Britain have found that primates prefer mates with red faces. A rosy glow might also act as a similar cue in humans, say the British researchers, sending a message of good health. They speculate that it could explain why women use blusher.

9. Kiss this way. Did you know there is a “right” way to kiss? People are more likely to tilt their heads to the right when kissing instead of left, says a report published recently in the journal Nature. A scientist from Ruhr University in Germany analyzed 124 pairs of smoochers and found that 65 percent go toward the right.

10. Meet for drinks before dinner. Researchers at NYU and Stanford have discovered that hungry men prefer heavier women. By staking out a dining hall, scientists had hundreds of students fill out questionnaires about their preferences in a mate. Men who filled out the questionnaire just before they entered the hall described their ideal woman as an average of three or four pounds heavier than men interviewed after they ate. Incidentally, researchers did not find the same change in women’s preferences, so guys: Go ahead and schedule that drinks date for before or after dinnertime.

Laura Schaefer is the author of Man with Farm Seeks Woman with Tractor: The Best and Worst Personal Ads of All Time.

A Class Divided

We don't post a lot of "heavy" stuff on our blog usually, but MeLissa contributed this comment to a discussion on MC Hammer's Blog. She really wanted to put it here as well since it is just a great program and she really feels that it deserves a wider audience. We hope you'll go check out some of the materials available (including the video program) at the site linked to the post title or at the bottom of the post.

I'll apologize up front because this is gonna be a long one...

Has anyone seen the PBS documentary called "A Class Divided" or read the book?

I was introduced to this program in a diversity workshop I attended for my company. Until I saw this short film and then read the related text, I had always sort of had a thought in the back of my head that African-Americans, Hispanics, and others who were discriminated against acted in certain ways that "brought on" discrimination. Sounds, strange, right? Why would anyone act in such a way as to encourage others to discriminate against them? And, yet it is a view I've heard from others as well.

I have to say this short documentary and book really gave me a new perspective. It's not as simple as I once thought. This documentary followed an experiment done by Jane Elliott, a teacher in a small all-white Iowa town in 1968 (interesting that it coincides with Mr. Hammer's date, hmmm? It is because she implemented this lesson the day after MLK, Jr. was assassinated. She wanted to help her children understand what it was he died for). Ms. Elliott divided her class into two groups based soley upon an arbitrary trait: eye color - the blue-eyed people and the brown-eyed people.

She had the brown-eyed people put on collars so they could be easily identified. Then, she proceed to tell them that for the first day, the blue-eyed (I think) people were better than the brown-eyed people. They were cleaner, smarter, more respectful, etc. Basically, if there was a positive trait...it was attached to the blue-eyed children. During that day, anything that a blue-eyed child did that was even remotely good was lauded and applauded. Everything remotely "bad" that a brown-eyed child did was scoffed at and made fun of. You would be shocked to see what happened. I really think everyone should check this out if you can find it (and I'll provide a link to a site at the end of my commentary).

Essentially, the end result was this - a class full of happy, kind, caring and well-bonded children turned into two opposing groups. The blue-eyed children tormented the brown-eyed children, acted as though they were superior and actually did better than ever at their studies - and this occured even between classmates who were easily categorized as inseparable best friends just the day before. On the other side, the brown-eyed children who also were usually happy, joyful souls became sullen and withdrawn and actually exhibited less academic prowess than they had the day before.

On the second day, the roles were switched. And, despite Ms. Elliott's believing that the same thing couldn't happen two days in a row since they had already done the experiment, it did. The only difference? The brown-eyed children who had been given a pretty nasty taste of how it felt to be discriminated against were a little less harsh than their blue-eyed classmates had been before. Still, though, the brown-eyed children excelled while the blue-eyed children's academic skill dropped below even pre-experiment levels.

For me, this was a real eye-opener. I can now see that certain minority groups act in ways that are less than becoming and perpetuate the belief that they are inferior, but I also understand that their experiences in life which have conciously or subconciously suggested this to their psyche plays a part. It is really a nasty vicious circle that could potentially never be resolved unless we're all willing to look beyond skin color, eye-color or any other arbitrary trait and see the person and the *soul* that is inside and value that.

I personally believe we have a long row to hoe here since our society is so focused on exteriors anyhow...but with materials and excercises like these, I think we can at least begin to see put ourselves in another's shoes and see things from a different perspective...which ultimately is what it's all about in every conflict known to man.

Thanks for "listening." Have a look at the site below (or click the post title above) for more information on this insightful program.

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/divided/

Here's MC Hammer's comment in response:

MC Hammer said...
Fanatastic! Mark and Melissa,
this is the type of feed back and input I'm looking for.

11:52 PM